Garden of Gothly Delights
Welcome to Bob's dark and morbid world of fun. Watch your step, and
please do not feed or annoy the denizens
The menu for tonight is:
Databases galore! More info than you ever wanted to
know about net.goths,
net.goth events and online goth resources.
There's a pretty sizable community of uk.net.goths, and it's growing.
I've taken upon myself the task of creating the definitive
uk.net.goths. This is a database of all
the uk.net.goths I could find -- well over
200 of them. It's got thumbnails of everyone, plus bigger pictures and
links to anything on the web by or about them.
If you're on a slow connection or just don't want to bother with some huge number of inline images, there's a
Some time ago, I decided to do an
anime version of the gallery
as a cute alternative. The idea is simple, draw the
uk.net.goths in the style of those way-cute
Japanese comics. I gave up after 15 pictures, but it's still rather
cute, so I kept it. Enjoy.
Closed for repairs until further notice!
Where to go and what to do. The big database of goth, including
shops and markets, and
place / city guides, all sorted by location. This provides and simple gallery-like interface, and should work even with older browsers.
It's not terribly amazingly complete, but I do try to keep it up to date.
For slower connections there's a
low graphics version as well.
Closed for repairs until further notice!
uk.net.goth interactive map
is yet another interface to the gallery and database.
This is a way to browse the uk.net.goth
gallery and the database graphically with pull-down menus and all that
sort of fun stuff.
For some time alt.gothic has been doing
a "describe yourself to the Netscrape" (which is
in which the residents answer a whole bunch of random "what do you
look like?" and "what's you favourite whatever?" questions. Well, it
was finally introduced to upg
after a large influx of new people. So for no real reason beyond it seemed to fit with the rest of the site, I decided to archive the UPG Edition of Describe Yourself to the Netscrape.
Stuart Lin compiled one of the first ever net.goth
databases. Some years back he no longer had time for it and let anyone
take over/mirror it. So I made a copy and put it up on my site, cos
I'm sentimental like that. I don't know if anyone else made a copy,
Stuart Lin's Gothbase
is alive and well here, and I plan to continue supporting it for the
foreseeable future. To prevent web crawlers from getting personal data, like email and such, I've added some pretty bad privacy protection.... so if all the email addresses look funny, you'll know why. Let me know if you want any data from your entry removed.
For those who care about all the fun the Goths in
London have -- check out the
on Halloween, in Whitby '94, '95, and '96, various London picnics,
and Nic & Shawnee's wedding. More added all the time.
Ever have some dumb frat boy try to pick you up, only to
find out that you're male / queer / just-can't-stand-him-anyway?
Ever had some idiot think that they're the first one to tell you you look like
Edward Scissorhands/Winona Ryder
thinking it would actually help them get you into bed?
Well, you're not alone. Many other have been in the same situation.
Curious at what lines were used?
Or do you just want to know what lines goths use on each other.
Well, the master list of Gothic pick-up lines
will tell you just that, with occasional commentary.
Has the nightcrawler in your life turned psycho? Or have your eyes
turned towards darker pastures? Can't think of that pithy phrase which
will get them out of your life forever? If any of these describes
you, check out the list of
Gothic break-up lines
Many of which were used in actual break-ups.
As you probably know, gothdom is not just a bowl of cherries. There's a whole
realm of problems which only goths have. Can you handle the intense
pressure and responsibility of being a goth? Read the list of
Problems only goths have and find out.
Due to some randomish comments on
I somehow got inspired to write a few gothic versions of some popular
Firstly there is
Adventures in Floodland
should be pretty obvious what it's about. No, it's not the
book, but a few chosen excerpts.
Secondly is a gothic version of the
Star Wars trilogy
The whole point is to redo the whole thing involving
in kinda-not-unlike real life situations.
A New Hope
a ten part satire of the original Star Wars
which the Goth Revival steals some files which could possibly destroy
the oppression by popular music.
There are random also excepts from
Return of the Goth
Finally, we have a wee little piss-take of the gom jabbar scene from the movie
I know I often have trouble finding good black clothes. I know other
people do as well. And it's such a pain when already black clothes
turn dark grey.
Well, there is hope, for those who don't know all there is to know
about dying. Here it is: Ladybee's Dye It
Black FAQ .
In addition there's also the supplement
which explains further on dying difficult clothes and detergents to use.
For those of you who are far too cheap to buy earrings, and are far
too lazy to pierce yourself, you can read Bob's guide to cheap
What Is a Goth?
How or why did you find this place if you don't know already? Well,
never let it be said I turned out a needing stranger into the cold
2. For all those confused, here
is my quick synopsis:
- Humans happened.
- They pissed each other off.
- Some pissed off ones dressed in neat clothes and made lotsa art.
- Hairspray was invented.
- There you go.
Still don't understand? Have recent "comeback" articles in the popular press
confused you? Unsure if you can handle being around a goth?
Well, take this simple test to see if
you are compatible.
Did you fail the goth friendly test? Or do you just want
to know how to deal with a goth on a regular basis? Read the
Normal's Guide to Gothdom for helpful tips.