The Normal's Guide to Gothdom
Care and Feeding of Your Pet Goth
This is a helpful guide that someone wrote. If you
want to improve your score on the Goth-Friendly
test, or you just want to know what to do when hanging out with a
goth, these helpful tips may prevent any awkward or embarrassing
- Get used to comments about "Sisters" and
"The Mission" etc., and agree
with them. Never liken them to
Roxette or Altern8.
- Don't be intimidated by their weird posters, pentagrams and candles in
their rooms, they don't mean anything, really.
- Learn to not mind waiting hours while they get all their cats' hairs off
their black clothes with a bit of selotape.
- If it really pleases them, let them read your future with tarot cards,
and be prepared to huff into glasses and sit patiently next to a ouija
board with your finger on a free
- Let them drag you to the local weird shop for them to stock up on their
incense and to choose a new ring or some beads. If they ask your opinion -
tell them the big ring looks best.
- Try not to be embarrassed when they ask shop assistants why they
don't stock black candles, while in Robert
Dyas, Paperchase or those small
sickly home decorating 'soft apple
- pastel peach' shops.
- If female, don't irritate them by buying them an
orange juice, a pint of
Snakebite and black is much more appropriate.
- Remember that Oxfam and charity shops
are very fashionable places and should be the first place to
go when buying xmas / birthday presents.
But if you do buy something new, don't forget to drop
it into battery acid and tie-dye it before you give it to
them, otherwise it's, like, unwearable.
- Stay away from cemetery's to avoid the embarrassment when they think
they've spotted one of their friends, over there standing near that big
- Don't be surprised when out walking with them, people get out of the
way/cross the road etc. It's really quite funny to watch.
- If you go to a goth club with them to see what it's like, don't
dress gothic unless you really know what you're doing. You'll just
embarrass everyone and yourself.
Originally written by some random and found on
, but some more was tacked on later.
Edited and HTMLised by Bob