Describe Yourself to the Netscrape
The UPG Edition

The Physical:

Your name: Matthew Porth

Your online/nickname: purrpurrpussy

Web page url: http://www.freshbrains.co.uk (a little empty! - soon!)

Age: Too old

Birthday: 6th April

Gender: Male

Location: London

Height/weight: 5'9", slightly lass than 10 stone

Current hair colour/style: mid length dark brown (OK, I'm lazy and old)

Natural hair colour: It's all natural darling...

Eye colour: Hazel

Religion: Libertarian Satanist

Siblings: A little brother (who's old too.. ha!)

Children: Not fucking likely...

Relationship status: Ho eating cake ;)

Occupation: Code Guru...

Pets: Slik Cut the techno dog, Titch the wonder cat.

Computer you're on: MegaHAL 9000 - Huge PC with too many hard drives, too many sound cards, bitching speaker system, lovely monitor, loads of RAM - Damn I need to upgrade....

Favourites:

Books: "Programming Languages and Interpreter Based Approach", anything by Knuth, "Algorithmic Beauty of Plants", "DSP First" - anything hardcore and techy - oh and "Exquisite Corpse"

Movies: "They Live", "The Fearless Vampire Hunters", Alien, Southpark the Movie... hundreds and hundreds of them...

Poems: If I am reading it (not very often) mostly Romantic period sonnets.

Television shows: WWF Heat, WWF RAW, BBC News 24, not much really - I have 37 cable channels and hardly ever watch them...

Songs: It would take days to answer this.

Bands/musicians: As above..

Club: Tenebrae

Board games: Monopoly

Computer games: F-Zero X, ChuChu Rocket, JSR, Mario64, Zelda (OoT), Worms, Wetrix, Extreme Violence, anything 80's and retro. I've played thousands....

Other games: Foreplay

Magazines: Sound on Sound, World of Wrestling, Edge(somtimes), Dr Dobbs, C/C++ Journal, Micrprocessor Report. many....

Places to visit: My folks place in the middle of nowhere...

Food: Yeo valley organic yoghurt, KFC zinger tower burgers, anything in Yildiz Ockabasi (blackstock road, finsbury park)

Colours: Blue, Red, Pink, Purple, Black, Silver, and Neon Green.

Drinks: Rum, guiness, water, coffee...

Miscellaneous Questions:

What other newsgroups do you read: comp.arch, comp.dsp, uk.video.games.dreamcast, comp.sys.sinclair

To which mailing lists are you subscribed: ZX81, OpenGL, numerous.

How long have you been reading upg: I used to read a.g before u.p.g existed.

What has been your favourite thread on upg: I don't have a memory.

What are some of your hobbies: Coding audio/visual apps, writing music using this room full of kit.... drinking, fighting, fucking....

What's the motto you adhere to: I don't

What is your personal stupid human trick: Drinking till I become seriously physically unwell.

What do you want to be doing 10 years from now: Breathing.

What is the one thing/skill that you do not have now that you wished you possessed: I wish I could slow time down cos' I always want to do more than I can in the given time. sigh...

What do you think is your best asset: Being able to identify a twat then avoid them forever.

What do you think is the worst thing about you: I'm fantastic - I have no flaws - you all love me....

What do you value most in a friend: The ability to turn up round my flat with copious amounts of brain frying booze/drugs just as I have run out!

How do you picture upg: Textually

Do you have another question: Do you want to know the answer?