Describe Yourself to the Netscrape
The UPG 2001 Edition
The Physical:
Your name: Joanna Morris
Your online/nickname: Jo
Web page url: too technically incompetent to make one 
Age: a mere 20 years
Birthday: 29th December
Gender: All woman ;)
Location: Middlesbrough
Height/weight: 5ft 3, let's just leave it at 'voluptuous' eh?
Current hair colour/style: Black, shoulder length, roots... Generally seen out and about in various wigs, current fave being different shades of red
Natural hair colour: Light brown once upon a time
Eye colour: Blue
Religion: Hmmm... Let's just say that the only things I come close to following are my heart and my mind
Siblings: Three brothers, three sisters, two step sisters, one step brother
Children: Not right now, thanks. Too busy on the piss.
Relationship status: Good to fantastically brilliant at its high points. Three and a bit years so far with this one.
Occupation: Journalist/organiser type/sometime DJ
Pets: None at the moment, accommodation doesn't allow it.
Computer you're on: Piece of shit laptop - compaq presario 1245. With an external keyboard. Which makes a mockery of the whole concept of 'laptop'.
Favourites:
Books: Don't know if I could pinpoint books..I just read and read and read. Fave authors include Storm Constantine, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Terry Pratchett and Stephen King. I read for pleasure, as you can see!
Movies: This is why I hate 'favourites'. Things like this change with the mood I'm in. 80s fantasy type movies - Labyrinth, Princess Bride etc remain
a firm favourite. 80s teen movies are good, as are things featuring dumb rockers - B&T, Airheads etc. Developing a strange attraction to Adam Sandler flicks...hmmm.
Poems: Not really into poetry, but when pushed it'd have to be the old cliche Poe.
Television shows: This is where the goth points start dropping rapidly ;) Corrie, Neighbours, Black Books, Young Ones, various loud American chat shows
Songs: Again, depends on the mood. Mostly songs with lyrics that appeal to me.
Bands/musicians: The Doors, Inkies, All About Eve, Dream Disciples, Mist of Avalon, practically most of the stereotypical 80s Goth bands, as well as a passion for dodgy 80s rock - Guns n Roses are a particular weakness.
Club: Decadence, Middlesbrough - well, I have to say that, don't I? I'm sure the next Blackout in Harrogate (plug, plug) will become another favourite.
Board games: Anyone remember that Waddington's Vampire game? Ahhh, how I loved it. Nowadays I don't really do board games much...
Computer games: Anything with little men and mushrooms I can squish.
Other games: ??? I'll choose not to respond with an innuendo.
Places to visit: Anywhere where there's friends who for some reason do not live in Middlesbrough.
Food: Oooh, junk. Pizzas, kebabs, chicken royales, the whole buffet area at the local Eat All You Can Chinese place...
Colours: Purple, red
Drinks: Tea! How very English of me. I do enjoy the occasional (hic!) vodka and coke too.
Miscellaneous Questions:
What other newsgroups do you read: u.p.g has my undivided attentions... Can barely keep up as it is!
To which mailing lists are you subscribed: Many, far too many. Lots of emails make me seem popular.
How long have you been reading upg: Reading for about two/three years... Only posting for about 8 months... The life of a lurker was good to me.
What has been your favourite thread on upg: I'm sorry, but the threads that keep me giggling away like something manic are generally the flame wars, with their well placed scathing sarcasm and ability to crush a person in one post. Looking For Leona was a recent favourite.
What are some of your hobbies: Randomly visiting areas of England to call on distant friends, reading, writing, clubbing, blah blah blah
What's the motto you adhere to: Each to their own... As long as they don't get in my face with it.
What is your personal stupid human trick: I can make my eyeballs nearly pop out.
What do you want to be doing 10 years from now: Raking it in as an author - the completion of a dream and riches to boot. Fantastic!
What is the one thing/skill that you do not have now that you wished you possessed: I would like to have one iota of artistic skill and I would like to be rid of the whole 'tone deaf' thing when it comes to singing.
What do you think is your best asset: My loyalty and love for the people I give a damn about.
What do you think is the worst thing about you: Bit of a control freak in some areas of my life
What do you value most in a friend: Trust and loyalty.
How do you picture upg: A place that keeps me informed, amused and baffled all at once.