Describe Yourself to the Netscrape
The UPG Edition

The physical

Your name: Mel

Your online/nickname: Mel

Web page URL: nah, not until I've something worthwhile to use it for.

Age: 34 1/2, going on 12

Birthday: 20/02 (Yes, I'm Pisces, and yes, I like nurses and alcohol).

Gender: hang on... just checking... male.

Location: Coventry, no comment.

Height/weight: 6'3" (6'8" in Tails' shoes!).

Current haircolour/style: ginger & grey, mohican, usually limpid.
 

Natural hair colour: grey & ginger.

Eye colour: red, usually.

Religion: church of the latter day alien.

Siblings: 2 elder sisters, the poor things.

Children: I hope not.

Relationship status: emphatically single.

Occupation: part-time hedgehog inflator, full-time "out the back in the woods having a fag".

Pets: two cats, blue Nermal and black Solo (Son of Nermal), and a mostly-dead bush.

Computer you're on: a 'Bill Gates fucks pigs' machine.

Favorites

Books: Eon, The Bridge, 1984, Catch 22, Papillion, Three Men In A Boat, The Little Prince, 2001, Jurassic Park, Arcadia.

Films: Delicatessen, The Thing, Silent Running, Wings Of Desire (except for the end), Dark Star, 2001.

Poems: Spike Milligan, John Cooper Clarke.

Television shows: OU when I can't sleep, the rest I can take or leave.

Songs: Horse With No Name (America), Passion Of Lovers (Bauhaus), Metaldance (SPK), Life In Tokyo (Japan), Europe After The Rain (John Foxx).

Bands/musicians: The Passage, D.A.F, Stranglers, Debussy, Tomita, etc etc blah blah blah.

Board games: shoving Trivial Pursuit up the arse of anyone who suggests it as an interesting thing to do.

Computer games: Half-Life, Unreal, 3D Tetris, Fractint.

Other games: Taking the piss, getting pissed, falling off walls, climbing trees, witches hats (sadly missed).

Magazines: Spelunker Today.

Places to visit: Czech Republic, Slovakia, bed, any road-side greasy spoon.

Food: carpet-bagger steak, beans on toast, cake mix, basically anything except curry or mexican.

Colours: anything remotely unlike beige.

Drinks: coffee, Canada Dry, Cointreau, beckerovka.

Miscellaneous questions

What other newsgroups do you read: assorted technical groups.

To which mailing lists are you susbscribed: Helix, central europe news service, assorted technical lists.

How long have you been reading UPG: about five inches.

What has been your favorite thread on UPG: the one that didn't end up being turned into something about Star Trek/Wars.

What are some of your hobbies: Drinking, driving (not simultaneously), cursing that bastard Bill Gates, photography (long neglected), picking up soldering irons by the wrong end, treading in cat sick.

What's the motto you adhere to: I have many, I adhere to none.

What's is your personal stupid human trick: Existing.

What do you want to be doing 10 years from now: Something I've not done before.

What is the one thing/skill that you do not have now that you wished you possessed: A saxophone, and the ability to play it.

What do you think is your best asset: No comment.

What do you think is the worst thing about you: Everything else.

What do you value most in a friend: Getting the drinks in.

How do you picture UPG: These days, something of a piece of modern art, in the style of a multi-coloured pavement pizza.

Do you have another question: You were bored enough to read this far?