Your name: jane[y][woo] - syllables added according to degree I am liked.
Your online/nickname: boglin
Web page URL: http://www.boglinscage.freeserve.co.uk
Age: 8 years, 3 months and 22 days (Oh, so it's *not* referring to mental age then...)
Birthday: 27th April. Yup, Taurus. Yup, talk a load of bull.
Gender: " I thought you were a bloke!"
Location: Birmingham, motorways.
Height/weight: the ideal weight for one somewhat taller than myself.
Current haircolour/style: black, with roots, sitting on my head. Will
be black, with streaks, next week - hopefully still sitting on my
head.
Natural hair colour: shit brown
Eye colour: ditto
Religion: "I will bow to the earth, bow to the sea..."
Siblings: One big (in all senses of the word) brother, 1 cat - 18 years old! The cat is Mother's favourite.
Children: my greatest phobia.
Relationship status: currently hug-less commitment phobic.
Occupation: piss-artist and professional arse-wit.
Pets: current: Rosie the cyber-rat, Emily and Charlotte the baby rats, Charlie mouse, willow the bast-ahem-cat. past and remembered: Belphegor, Algenon and Ursula:rats, Clarissa the cat.
Computer you're on: mine
Books: 'Diseases Of Small Domestic Rodents' - V.C.G Richardson
Movies: Life Of Brian, Holy Grail, Babe
Poem: Long Distance II - Tony Harrison Though my mother was already two years dead, Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas, put hot water bottles her side of the bed and still went to renew her transport pass. You couldn't just pop in. You had to phone, He'd put you off an hour to give hime time to clear away her things and look alone as though his still raw love were such a crime. He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief though sure that very soon he'd hear her key scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief. He *knew* she'd just pooped out to get the tea. I belive life ends in death, and that is all. You haven't both gone shopping; just the same. in my new leather phone book there's your name and the disconected number I still call. (I still can't get to the end reading it aloud)
Television shows: League of Gentlemen, Father Ted, Bagpuss
Songs: 'Courage' - New Model Army, 'Creep' - Radiohead
Bands/musicians: NMA, NIN<awkward shuffle, stares at feet>, Robbie Williams
Board games: Twister
Computer games: <sigh> 3D games give me motion sickness, so I'm limited to the likes of Diablo and Dungeon Keeper.
Other games: 'What animal am I?'
Magazines: OK, so I buy 'Your Cat' every now and again. I could stop any time I wanted to. You have a problem with that?
Places to visit: my (mum and) dad's house cos I love 'em, the Highlands, the off-licence, my friends cos I love 'em too.
Food: Sheesh - I'm vegan - you expect me to *enjoy* eating that shit?
Colours: black, purple, tabby, hooded, himalayan...
Drinks: gin, Slush Puppy
What other newsgroups do you read: alt.pets.rodents, sci.lang
To which mailing lists are you susbscribed: Contaminatii, Bagpuss
How long have you been reading UPG: 4 years, excepting leave of absence.
What has been your favorite thread on UPG: those endowed with humour and good-naturedness rather than snide pretentious bitching.
What are some of your hobbies: you mean there's something else to do round here other than drink?
What's the motto you adhere to: "be excellent to one another."
What's is your personal stupid human trick: turning a tea-towel into a chicken.
What do you want to be doing 10 years from now: laughing
What is the one thing/skill that you do not have now that you wished
you possessed: Not a thing and never possessed: Clarissa my once cat.
Skills: rudimentary social skills, confidence.
What do you think is your best asset: sometimes I am asleep
What do you think is the worst thing about you: Other times I'm awake.
What do you value most in a friend: Honour and courage.
How do you picture UPG: generally, in a sort of vague, blurred way, shortly before falling off my chair...